In my life this week…
I had Philip write the letter to Connor which he elected to keep secret. I also found a site that covers the five stages of grief for kids and had him read through it. We talked about it and he stated that he was somewhere between bargaining with God and depression. We talked first about the bargaining. The good part about that was he brought out his bible and looked up Lazarus to show me. Of course the downside to that was he had Biblical proof that it could happen. We talked about Connor being health and happy in heaven, about his parents missing him deeply. I think he has moved on from bargaining on the basis that it would have already happened. The depression is tougher.
When Philip was first diagnosed I knew that I had to be there for him and I couldn’t fall apart. I needed to hand him over to Jesus. That was tough. One of the big parts of how I did it was I took a picture of Philip and taped a prayer card with the image of Jesus on it to the side of the frame. It was a constant reminder that Jesus had him. I told Philip this story and did the same thing with a picture we had of Connor. It acts as a memorial and sits on Philip’s homeschool desk. We also talked about thing he has done and could do in honor of Connor. He has fund raised for cancer research and lit lanterns at Relay for Life in Connor’s honor. I asked him to think about other thing that he could do in Connor’s honor. I specifically asked him to think about those if he was feeling depressed. Finally I asked him how Connor would want him to live his life? Depressed or Fully?
The best part is he has had a couple of good nights of sleep. I don’t think this is the end of this and I intend to talk to him again next week to see where we are.
In our homeschool this week…
First I shared a story with my wife that a lot of blogging homeschoolers have named their schools. I shared a number of these. My son went through a number of options and eventually settled on Tamarisk Academy. It is based on the tree in our front yard that stumped my mother and my wife’s father both pride themselves on gardening. Its been badly cared for, is to big and needs a more severe haircut than we gave it this year. This is our first year in this house so we are learning.
My daughter has half days Thursday and Friday for parent teacher conferences. So I decide to focus this week on the areas where we are behind. Thus I am finally feeling that we have achieved balance. At least close enough for now.
My first portfolio is due Nov 1. So I spent some time this week planning what I was going to put in it. So know I have a plan, a checklist. Nothing checked yet but most are started. It reduces my stress, at least for now and I have shown it to Philip so he has an idea of where we are going.
I am inspired by…
Ulam Spirals. If you start writing down the numbers in a spiral going out and then circle the prime numbers you get this beautiful computer generated image. You can see diagonal lines being formed in a pattern. The cool thing is the fellow, Stanislaw Ulam, who came up with it was bored in a presentation and started doodling and came up with this.
My favorite thing this week.
My daughter belt test in Tae Kwon Do. She was so proud in getting her new belt.
I’m cooking…
One of our favorite ways to use up leftover roast beef is to turn it into Cornish Pasties.
Linking up at
Congratulations to your daughter. Praying for you and Phillip on this journey. Sending huge hugs and prayers your way!
That may just be the coolest karate belt I’ve ever seen.
I’m sorry for what you’re facing with Phillip and Conner. You’re right — cancer sucks.
Thank you for the prayers everyone.
Were we go for Tae Kwon Do they have a junior program where they split the material from white through yellow belt up into 8 belts. The kids move through them quickly and it gives them a strong foundation for future belts. The Camo belt is the last one in the junior program. at her next belt test she will move up to yellow and change classes.
Oh wow…you all are going through a lot. Do you have a post that tells more about Philip’s diagnosis?
We make those same pasties – Good stuff!
There is some under the Cancer tag but not a lot. This blog has bounced through a number of topics over the years. When he was in treatment we kept family up to date through private site that contain information I shouldn’t share. However I am copying our intro page from there below. One day I’ll strip out the private info and post some of it.
We first noticed Philip wasn’t feeling well on the May long weekend (2005) at which point we took him to a walk in clinic to rule out an ear infection or urinary tract infection, we were told it was probably a virus. Two weeks later (June 5th) we took Philip to the Kelowna General Hospital(KGH) ER because he was complaining of tummy pain and flinched when I touched him. The ER doctor did an exam and took an x-ray and felt it was probably a virus causing alot of gas and sent us home. During the week Philip appeared to be improving but the following Sunday (June 12th) he was very uncomfortable again so we ended up back in the ER and got the same doctor who decided this was something more involved and called in the Pediatrician. The pediatrician did a very thourough exam and thought he felt a mass. He let us go home overnight and had us come back in Monday morning first thing for an ultra-sound. The ultra-sound came back indicating a large (7-8cm) tumor in his abdomen by his left kidney and adrenal gland. We were immediately referred to BC Children’s hospital oncology clinic. After several exams in Vancouver we were given the diagnosis of Neuroblastoma Stage IV on June 16th 2005.
Just finding your blog tonight, I think, via the Homeschool Mother’s Journal. I’m very sorry to read about Philip and Connor. I will add Philip, and you, to my prayer list.
Congratulations to your daughter & that’s an awesome belt!
Your Cornish Pasties look tasty. I’ll look up the recipe(s) shortly but they remind me of a tuna pastry type food I make.