In my life this week…
I had Philip write the letter to Connor which he elected to keep secret. I also found a site that covers the five stages of grief for kids and had him read through it. We talked about it and he stated that he was somewhere between bargaining with God and depression. We talked first about the bargaining. The good part about that was he brought out his bible and looked up Lazarus to show me. Of course the downside to that was he had Biblical proof that it could happen. We talked about Connor being health and happy in heaven, about his parents missing him deeply. I think he has moved on from bargaining on the basis that it would have already happened. The depression is tougher.
When Philip was first diagnosed I knew that I had to be there for him and I couldn’t fall apart. I needed to hand him over to Jesus. That was tough. One of the big parts of how I did it was I took a picture of Philip and taped a prayer card with the image of Jesus on it to the side of the frame. It was a constant reminder that Jesus had him. I told Philip this story and did the same thing with a picture we had of Connor. It acts as a memorial and sits on Philip’s homeschool desk. We also talked about thing he has done and could do in honor of Connor. He has fund raised for cancer research and lit lanterns at Relay for Life in Connor’s honor. I asked him to think about other thing that he could do in Connor’s honor. I specifically asked him to think about those if he was feeling depressed. Finally I asked him how Connor would want him to live his life? Depressed or Fully?
The best part is he has had a couple of good nights of sleep. I don’t think this is the end of this and I intend to talk to him again next week to see where we are.
In our homeschool this week…
First I shared a story with my wife that a lot of blogging homeschoolers have named their schools. I shared a number of these. My son went through a number of options and eventually settled on Tamarisk Academy. It is based on the tree in our front yard that stumped my mother and my wife’s father both pride themselves on gardening. Its been badly cared for, is to big and needs a more severe haircut than we gave it this year. This is our first year in this house so we are learning.
My daughter has half days Thursday and Friday for parent teacher conferences. So I decide to focus this week on the areas where we are behind. Thus I am finally feeling that we have achieved balance. At least close enough for now.
My first portfolio is due Nov 1. So I spent some time this week planning what I was going to put in it. So know I have a plan, a checklist. Nothing checked yet but most are started. It reduces my stress, at least for now and I have shown it to Philip so he has an idea of where we are going.
I am inspired by…
Ulam Spirals. If you start writing down the numbers in a spiral going out and then circle the prime numbers you get this beautiful computer generated image. You can see diagonal lines being formed in a pattern. The cool thing is the fellow, Stanislaw Ulam, who came up with it was bored in a presentation and started doodling and came up with this.
My favorite thing this week.
My daughter belt test in Tae Kwon Do. She was so proud in getting her new belt.
One of our favorite ways to use up leftover roast beef is to turn it into Cornish Pasties.